The Collateral Damage of Fatherless Homes

The term “collateral damage” usually conjures up images of military operations. Explanations of regret for “incidental” destruction of civilian property or non-combatant casualties follow.  I guess “collateral damage” should be expected even in today’s surgically precise wars – but is it acceptable when it comes to the home?

Perhaps there is no better analogy to use than “war” in reference to many homes. Or to say that children are considered “collateral damage.” Obviously God never intended broken homes or relationships destroyed by divorce. He has a perfect plan (Ephesians 5:22-33, 6:1-9, Colossians 3:18-25), a precise way for husband/wife relationships to be lived out, but something has gone terribly wrong.

Statistics are cold and can be numbing but the statistics concerning fatherless homes are literally alarming. They clearly show the strategic need for the father in the home. Too often fathers are either too busy to be there for the children or they are just absent all together. Of the myriad of information on this topic, consider just a few statistics:

• There are eight times more fatherless families now than during the 1960’s. 1
• 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. 2
• 85% of all children who show behavior disorder come from fatherless homes. 3
• 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. 4

There is no excuse for any father to abandon his responsibility to his child. I think particularly that as men who know and love the Lord, we need to be raising the bar, setting the example for fatherhood. This does not mean we are perfect nor have any chinks in our armor. It just means that we are dead serious about our God given responsibility.  

This is why I am excited about the men’s ministries in our churches. I think the accountability is incredibly necessary and helps us send a clear message to our families that we are serious about our role as father. I also applaud groups like CBMC and Iron Sharpens Iron as well as others like them. Connecting with other men to be challenged to step up as fathers is healthy for all of us.  

If your church does not have a men’s ministry then contact me and I will put you in touch with someone who can help you get this started. It is time to stop the “collateral damage” that comes when fathers are not taking an active role in the lives of their children. We need to say, “It’s time to stop, and it stops with ME.”

Sources:

1 – David Kinnaman, Op.cit, p.46

2 – US Dept. Of Health/Census

3 – Center for Disease Control

4 – National Principals Association Report