Parental Myth #2: Youth Leaders Are Responsible for My Kid's Spiritual Growth

Ever heard that one? If so, it was probably the tagline of a heated dialogue. Some parent’s teen was not doing well spiritually and some youth leader was being blamed. When this happens, the parent may range from being totally disengaged from their teen’s life to simply being at a complete loss as to what to do and be lashing out in desperation.

Not all parents who make this statement are irresponsible; some really believe it is true for a variety of reasons.  After all:

• As a teen their youth leader had the most impact in their life.
• Their church does not encourage parental involvement in youth ministry.
• No one has ever helped them understand their responsibility as a parent to spiritually influence their family. (This does not excuse them.)
• They attend a church that is content just to have everybody attend meetings without any long-range strategy for personal growth.
• Having never been personally discipled has left them a bit clueless about making disciples in their own home.

Churches that steer clear of these types of petty debates are the ones who are intentional about student ministry. They understand the importance of merging parental involvement and student ministry. Youth ministry should support what is taking place in the home. Conversely, the home can reinforce what is being taught in the youth ministry.

This type of ministry only happens if the parents are intentionally equipped by giving them such things as:

• Training – periodic sessions on such topics as parenting, discipling or how to have family devotions, just to name a few.
• Insights – communicate insights on things such as generational distinctives and key concepts onhow to reach millennials.
• Tools – suggest books, cd’s/dvd’s, or podcasts for them to work through personally. Recommend devotionals such as the Word of Life Quiet Time for all ages and Quiet Time Connect (practical steps to having family devotions).
• Opportunities – create activities within the context of the church ministry for teens and parents to spend time together laughing and learning together.
• Information – keep the parents in the loop concerning the youth calendar and all the “inside stuff” they need to know. They should not be caught off guard or surprised by things that happen in the student ministry.

So who is really responsible for a teen’s spiritual growth? Is it parents, pastors, youth leaders, the general congregation or all of the above? I don’t think anyone in the church is exempt from investing in the lives of youth.

I would love to hear what you think.

Parental Myth #1: I can sleep when they are out of diapers!