Discipleship: 2 x 4’s or Teddy Bears

In case you haven’t noticed, not everyone is wired the same way. Some people are outgoing and others are reserved. Some are direct and others are subtle. Some prefer “in your face” confrontation while others appreciate a softer approach to correction.

Perhaps you think I am stating the obvious. Everybody understands this little tidbit of truth, but…do they? If everybody truly knows then why do we often minister to people like they are all carbon copies of ourselves? Why do we define ministry within the sphere of our own personal tastes, preferences or comfort zone?

To be effective in a discipleship relationship there are several tools that you will want to add to your ministry toolbox. One of the first is the tool of “assessment.”

I used the title “2 x 4’s or Teddy Bears” because every person needs to be approached differently. While the principles of discipleship do not vary, the process should be personally tailored to fit each individual person.

Take some time early in the relationship to get to know the person and how they are personally wired. The following questions will aid with assessment and help you discover how best to approach each individual as it relates to discipleship.

• How did they come to Christ? If you don’t know their testimony you don’t really know them.
• What was their upbringing like? You can gain a great deal of insight when you begin to understand their background and home life.
• Are they presently practicing any spiritual habits? If so how often are they practicing them, and for how long.
• Have they attempted to build other spiritual habits unsuccessfully? If so which ones and why did they have such a short shelf-life?
• Do you know how they like to communicate? We often take for granted that others communicate the same way we do. Ask what vehicle of communication they prefer, i.e. phone, email, text, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc.
• What are their goals for this accountability relationship?
• What kind of expectations are they bringing to this relationship?
• What would a successful discipleship relationship look like for them one month from now? How about six months? Or one year?
• How can your desire to walk with them on their journey help create positive change in both of your lives?

Great disciplers willingly meet disciple’s where they are at and move forward with them on their spiritual walk. That requires assessing their lives, determining present position and helping plan a personal course of action.