You Are Not The Boss of Me

If you have a younger sibling, you probably have heard these words at some point: “You are not the boss of me!”  Your intentions might have been pure. You may have thought you were being protective. Instead, you were misunderstood and accused of being bossy.

In order to help them you had to discover creative ways of leading them.

Leaders care more about the people they are leading than they do about being in charge.

We face the same leadership challenge in our ministries, organizations, churches and companies. As leaders we have an obligation to give good counsel, protecting those under our care and authority. It would seem natural that they would be willing to listen and learn. The reality, though, is this: people struggle with being told what to do, just like we do.

How much better to “teach them how to think” rather than “tell them what to think.” Telling them what to think simply creates compliant people who “color within the lines” while they answer to us. The bigger question we have to ask ourselves is “what are they going to do when no one is there to tell them what to do?”

Teaching people how to think means:

• Asking more questions and making less statements.
• Allowing people to express their ideas without fear of condemnation.
• Incorporating other people’s ideas and concepts generously.
• Making decisions with people not just for people.
  
• Trusting others to lead projects and meetings.
• Giving away authority with responsibility.

If this has not been your style of leadership, it is never too late to begin again. It may require an apology and a restatement of direction, but it can be done. Our goal is to “teach others how to think” not “tell them what to think” which begins with defining Biblical Principles as a foundation for life.

This approach will multiply ministry because we will multiply people who are capable of being effective. Plus, when we equip people with the tools to think for themselves, “You are not the boss of me” never seems to come up in conversations!